How long were your friends before dating
We know exactly who we are and why we are and why we feel the way we feel.We don’t respond to peer pressure, we’re uninfluenced by marketing; we’re too smart and strong-willed for that.Often, people’s default response to discomfort is to try to ignore it and hope it goes away.They wrap the nugget of discontent in layers of denial and “well that’s just $NAME, you know how he is,” like a passive-aggressive pearl in the socially-uncomfortable oyster.We tend to be axiomatic – we’d never be friends with abusers, therefore our friends aren’t abusive.We may excuse their behavior as “that’s just how Adam/Marie/Dan/Steve/Andrea is…”.the problem; it simply makes it easier to pretend that it doesn’t exist. The problem is that social circles – especially geeky ones – tend to be loathe to exclude people.This is one of the classic geek social fallacies – that ostracizers are inherently bad and trying to exclude someone (no matter how deserved) is just and everyone knows that friends don’t do that.
That means you need to choose your social circle carefully, because letting toxic friends into your life can change your life for the worse.
After all, why would they want to give up on their favorite punching bag? Toxic friends are a lot like ticks; they get under your skin and inject us with their poison.
Their manipulations and lies take up residence in the back of your mind, repeating all the nasty things they say to you.
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” I find that many of the people I coach need to do this sort of examination, because we all tend to have a specific blindspot towards the people in our lives.
You see, we spend a Toxic friends can actually be harder to recognize.